|
The Divine Intervention Show
Hi, welcome back people remember me? The funny, talented part of a Gary Mac promo, the narrator but the prick gives me no credit what so ever. Anyway today we are doing something different, you're not getting trash talk to sit and pick apart. You are getting something different, this is the Divine Intervention hour, and today in the studio we have Gary Mac, obviously and his tag team partner not life partner, Ace. They are sitting in front of a studio audience all handpicked D.I fans, expect some cameo's from other Divine Intervention members and expect not to be handed a whole load of talk because you are an unoriginal piece of shit. That might be wrong, because myself and Gary haven't viewed the Ataxia promo; there was no need to view it as it was posted at the same time as every other week. More than likely filled with the same shit, yet we are the only one that notices it. Anyway our heroes are sitting dressed in designer suits, for some reason Ace was talked into wearing a suit even though he is a pirate. And yes he even has a Jolly Roger flag flying from the roof of his car.
Gary Mac: Welcome everyone to the very first instalment of the Divine Intervention verity hour; I am one half of your host for this evening, Your God Gary Mac.
Ace: And I am Ace, Luke the man who speaks pirate talk to change things up a bit.
Gary Mac: Well Ace it has been a busy week for us hasn't it?
Ace: Yes it sure has, as it stands we have delivered two top quality promos, yet our opponent have delivered none.
Both men smile look at each other and then their watches.
Gary Mac: It is eleven fifty one Ace, Ataxia will have aired his promo by now, should we take a look?
Ace: I don't see the point you summed up his work last time around, let us ask the studio audience.
Gary Mac: Great idea, now if you will cast your votes to tell us if you want to view the Ataxia promo?
Here I go again on my own, that song always goes through my head when these two are around, and they want me to describe everything in detail. Well the audience are now casting there vote, there is cheesy music playing and some flashing light. The music stops and on the screen behind our hero's we see the number of votes, yes means they want to view the Ataxia promo and no means they don't, we need to explain that for the benefit of those with simple minds.
Ace: One hundred per-cent have voted no, good choice people we really don't need a nap just now, although Gary it is late I could do with a good sleep.
Gary Mac: Let us not do that Ace; let us hand out the badges we made.
Both men get up and grab a box filled with badges and begin handing it out towards the audience, after they are done they sit back down on their seats and they have one of their own. They pin a badge each on their own suit jacket and we see what is says, "We survived an Ataxia promo and didn't want to kill ourselves after it."
Gary Mac: Now you all must be happy to be handed these, this cost us a bit of money but hey our fans are worth it.
Ace: Can I hand out my Jolly Roger t-shirts now Mac?
Gary Mac: Can we leave that till they are leaving Ace?
Ace: Sure, next on the agenda today is to have some fun, so for the first time in the history of wrestling we have a fan of our opponents.
Gary Mac: I really can't believe we found this guy, he even dresses like Ataxia and tries to talk like him, but before we bring him out and give him some verbal bashing, let us cut to a short clip of earlier today with the Ataxia fan.
Earlier Today
The show cuts to a scene from earlier today, the Ataxia fan is sitting in front of a chess board, he just made his move I would describe it but I don't know how to play chess. You can all deal with that right? Anyway it is now Mac's turn and he makes his move the bagman or the man with no face, let us just call him Ataxia's only fan, and makes his next move. We can't tell if he is happy or sad, or smiling or anything that mask covers his whole face, oh I have an idea we should sing if you are happy and you know it clap your hands. Ataxia fan makes his move, Ace who is standing behind Gary Mac whispers something in his ear and Gary quickly makes his move back, this is like promoing. Only difference is you can't wait till Tuesday 11:50 to make your move, yes I have been told to drop this in a lot.
Gary Mac: Check mate.
Ataxia Fan: But even when I lose I still win.
Gary Mac: No you just clearly lost.
Ataxia Fan: I still win.
Gary Mac: No you fucking didn't.
Ataxia Fan: I did, I am a master of cunning.
Gary Mac: Masturbator more like.
Ataxia Fan: I still won.
Gary Mac: I swear you say that one more time I'm going to rip your throat out.
Ataxia Fan: BAWAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHA, I still won, AHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHH.
Mac leaps forward but Ace grabs him locking him into a headlock.
Gary Mac: Let me at him Ace; let me fucking at him now.
Ace: Mellow Mac, he isn't Ataxia.
Gary Mac: He didn't fucking win though.
Ataxia Fan: BAWAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHA.
Back In The Studio
The show cuts back to the studio where Gary is looking down at the floor the audience are starting a "Gary!" chant whilst fist pumping the air.
Ace: Welcome our guest the Ataxia Fan.
Some music plays and the crowd become hostile and begin booing as loud as they can as the Ataxia Fan walks out with a cocky attitude, Gary is held back by the security to save him from a violent assault on the fan. He sits down on the stage as Gary and Ace stand near the back of the audience looking at him, dressed almost directly the same as the real Ataxia.
Ace: Thank you for coming out here tonight, we know it must be hard for you to step out in public dressed like that.
Gary Mac: Yeah, and I still fucking won.
Gary charges the stage only to be held back by the security guards again the audience begin a "Gary!" chant again, Ace shakes his head.
Ace: Enough of your shit Gary or we will ban you for the rest of tonight. Now Ataxia fan, isn't it hard to walk down the street?
Ataxia Fan: Sometimes people point and laugh, I like to think of them laughing with me because I am always BAWAHAHAHAHAing all the time.
Ace: Don't you think you need locked up for dressing as a reject from the circus?
Ataxia Fan: I was a reject from the circus though kind of invalids your point.
Ace: Well wouldn't you say it is stupid to dress like that?
Ataxia Fan: Wouldn't you say it's stupid to be a part of the company I am going to destroy?
Ace: But you aren't the real Ataxia.
Ataxia Fan: Or am I?
Ace: Are you just countering everything I say?
Ataxia Fan: I fucking could be, you fucker.
Ace: That is it, cut to another sketch.
Back To The Conception
Now Ace charges down and the security stop him, Mac and Ace are being restrained by their own security from attacking Ataxia Fan. Yeah this is what the guy does, looks like the fans are the same unoriginal and counter everything you say with a question or try to invalidate your statement. Hey if it helps you win why stop now right, good point anyway we need to cut to another sketch for earlier today. We see Gary Mac dressed in his normal street clothes, which means a pair of jeans, a t-shirt and boots, Ace is dressed like . . . a pirate, even going so far as to have makeup applied to his leg to make it look wooden. They are standing in an undisclosed location, with a phone box behind them.
Gary Mac: Those of you unfamiliar with me will be unaware I own a phone box that can travel back in time, like Bill and Ted. But I gave them my phone box for the film, that one was true and I used this phone box seven years ago with Clayton Walker, do you remember him Ace?
Ace: I didn't like him at all.
Gary Mac: I knew you would say that, anyway we are standing here in an undisclosed location with my specially designed phone box; no one in the world knows this secret location.
Ace: No one but you, me, the audience gathered with us, the camera guy, the producer.
Gary Mac: Yes I get your fucking point now Ace.
Ace: Ho, ho, ho.
Gary Mac: That is Santa Clause.
Ace: Who cares, it's a pirate's life for me, can we use the phone box to travel back in time and steal some treasure?
Gary Mac: If it makes you happy Luke of course we can, now you may be wondering where we are going to travel to. Well let me tell you all, tonight we travel back in time to Ataxia's birth, we need to stop his parents from having sex that night.
Ace: Maybe you could impregnate her Gary; you could be Ataxia's daddy.
Gary Mac: Now that would be a BAWAHAHAHA moment would it not?
Ace: It sure would, now let us get going.
Both Gary and Ace step into the phone box it is a tight squeeze but the cameraman goes with them, they close the door and then dial a number. Now let us point out this isn't a copyright infringement, this was Gary Macs actual phone box and the things you saw in the Excellent Adventure and Bogus Journey where all true . . . yeah right. After a few brief moments waiting on it starting up Ace opens up the door reaches up and places a D.I flag on the top and then closes the door. The box goes into the ground and they travel through time, the camera man is shitting himself as Gary and Ace wait patiently on landing in the correct year, date and time. When they arrive they are outside a rather small rundown house, the door opens and all three men fall out.
Ace: My head is spinning now, they didn't show you in the film how much that hurts and how it annoys the shit out of you.
Gary Mac: You get used to it Ace, sometimes I like to go back in time and fuck famous people, always makes me feel good.
Ace: Who have you fucked?
Gary Mac: That would be telling and a gentleman never tells.
Ace: Since when did you become a gentleman?
Gary Mac: Good point, well I travel back in time fucked Whitney Houston and after I was gone she developed a crack habit because that was the only way she could hit ecstasy without me.
All three men begin laughing but there is more pressing things to do than tell jokes about dead people, they look at the house and Mac turns to Ace.
Gary Mac: We are here, Mr and Mrs Ataxia's house.
Ace: Don't they have a real name, surely it isn't Ataxia.
Gary Mac: I don't know, anyway let us go.
The house is a two story building, it is run down but has an upstairs and downstairs, there is a light on in the bedroom as both Gary and Ace head towards the front door.
Ace: Shall we ring the bell?
Gary Mac: That would be rude, just walk in.
Ace: And that isn't rude?
Gary Mac: No we can shout surprise or something so it looks like we did something good for them.
With their mind made up Gary opens the door and they quietly walk in, looking around in the dark they notice some photos, and instantly they realise they are in the correct house as all the pictures are of a couple with gimp masks on. Mac tries not to laugh before Ace knife edge chops him on the arm; they begin creeping up the stair heading towards the bedroom with the light on.
Man's Voice: AHHHHHHHHHHHHHHH.
Woman's Voice: OHHHHHHHHHHHH.
Man's Voice: AHHHHHHHHHHHHHH.
Woman's Voice: OHHHHHHHHHHHH.
Gary Mac: At least we know we got the right house Luke.
Ace: Where?
Gary Mac: What you talking about where?
Ace: You said look.
Gary Mac: No I said Luke, as in your name.
Ace: Oh right . . . it sounds the same as look; I wish I had Ataxia's ability of seeing words, would make this a lot easier.
They both approach the door and stand outside with their ear pressed against it listening to the noises the couple are making.
Gary Mac: I wonder what they are doing.
Ace: Can't you tell?
Gary Mac: No I mean what position, and who is the bitch.
Ace: We will find out in a second.
Ace reaches for the door handle but Gary stops him.
Gary Mac: What are you doing?
Ace: Going in and dealing with this.
Gary Mac: What exactly will we do, what if they want us to join in?
Ace: Then I am saying no, that would be wrong.
Gary Mac: Yeah it would . . . ok let us do this.
Both men open the door and step in instantly they are caught off guard with Ataxia's father tied up and gagged, whilst wearing a gimp mask. The woman is standing in front of him with a dildo in her had she is also wearing a mask they both look at Mac and Ace.
Ace: This is awkward.
Gary Mac: Sure is, I didn't expect this.
The woman mumbles something to which Gary and Ace look at each other, Mac smiles as Ace shakes his head.
Ace: I'm not getting involved with these two freaks.
Gary Mac: I think I understood what she said.
Ace: How could you understand, dhyo ytroinu whiahnt tuiyo jklounign?
Gary Mac: Haven't spent a great deal of my life getting my dick sucked from woman, I can understand what women say with their mouth full. It is a gift and I know she asked do you want to join. No we don't sweetheart.
Ace: You just called Ataxia's mother sweetheart.
Gary Mac: We have been sent back in time from the future, by the government, who have asked me that tonight you must make sure Mr Ataxia wears this.
Now Gary goes into his pocket and pulls out three packs of condoms and hands them over to the woman, whilst trying to keep his head backwards as the dildo is flying to close to his face.
Gary Mac: You see no one likes your son, who you are about to conceive. He continues being an ignorant, stupid fucking idiot and you are best wasting your husband's sperm tonight in the hopes that one day you have a child you can be proud of.
Ace: I don't think she is happy, look at how red her body is.
Gary Mac: That is more than likely them spanking each other don't worry Ace. I'll go now but please to save the government wanting to kill you and your son in thirty year's time use a condom, save the sperm and don't have an Ataxia.
Slowly they back up towards the door and then close it over.
Gary Mac: That went well.
Ace: Yeah but how do we know they will use it?
Meanwhile Back In The Studio
Now isn't this a cliff-hanger? Find out later in the show as to what happens in the rest of this part of the show, it is really something you do not want to miss. Now back to the studio audience who are cheering the clip they just watched as the Ataxia fan is still sitting on the stage looking at Gary and Ace.
Ace: That was a very good part of the show, and to be honest when we show you the rest you will not be disappointed, now we are back here we have this parasite on the stage trying to pretend he is the real Ataxia.
Gary Mac: It isn't hard to try and be Ataxia, same shit every fucking week although there is news come through to us right now that the Ataxia promo was different this week.
Ace: You made him change everything he does?
Gary Mac: I don't know Ace but the producer is telling me we should one time when we are bored try and watch his promo, because he has music videos dedicated to us.
Ace: Great . . . original.
Gary Mac: He bad mouths my dead wife and kid.
Ace: Great, you gave him that ammo; he would have nothing if you didn't go out of your way to air it a few weeks ago.
Gary Mac: He calls us old and my impending retirement in two months.
Ace: Wait . . . in two months you are retiring?
Gary Mac: Just from SFT.
Ace: Why didn't you tell me this and tell Ataxia?
Gary Mac: I don't know he just seems to know everything about everyone . . . like he lost to a soft core porn promo.
Ace: Really someone in SFT made soft core porn?
Gary Mac: Apparently, I wish I saw it, more to the point it is Miranda he is bitching about.
Ace: Why?
Gary Mac: Think it is unfair how he loses to soft core porn, and then continues not being fair to others, bit of a hypocrite really.
Ace: Sure is, so Ataxia fan how does it feel to know your hero is just a bitch who likes to try to piss people off?
Ataxia Fan: He succeeded.
Gary Mac: No he didn't, how can he piss off someone who doesn't view his promo?
Ataxia Fan: Then how do you know he tried to piss you off?
Gary Mac: Producer in my ear telling me bullet points of his promo.
Ataxia Fan: AHHHHHHHHHHHHHH you need a producer to help you, I don't.
Gary Mac: No you need Miranda Steel and Trent Steel.
Ataxia Fan: They just add to my originality.
Gary Mac: Fuck you.
Ataxia Fan: BAWHAHAHAHAHA, you lose I can prove it with points that you are a loser.
Ace: Prove it then.
Ataxia Fan: I don't need to.
Gary Mac: Yes you do.
Ataxia Fan: No I don't, I'll just post videos from that you tube place to get my point across, kind of weak by hey I like them.
Both Gary and Ace begin becoming upset and annoyed by the fan, Gary points to the security and they begin removing him from the stage as Mac and Ace head down towards it. Ace laughs at the fan being dragged away and Mac sits on the stage.
Gary Mac: You know the producer told me he posted a few music videos, which was real original but again we don't care our next guest is someone who was by the side of Ataxia at one point.
Ace: I have been looking forward to this since the beginning of the show.
Gary Mac: Welcome everyone Dick Roman.
The crowd cheer as Dick Roman walks out from the back wearing a dress; his face is covered in a beard I think in reality they found Dick Roman on the streets. Something to do with someone I don't give a dam about leaving and Dick hit the ground and doesn't have a life anymore.
Gary Mac: Welcome to the Divine Intervention hour, you are the former tag partner of Ataxia.
Dirk Roman: I was more than his tag partner.
Ace: Would you care to explain?
Dirk Roman: We were more than tag partners that is why I am lost without him. He taught me how to love.
Gary Mac: So you loved Ataxia?
Dirk Roman: I guess so.
Ace: That's a bit weird but isn't Ataxia a man?
Dirk Roman: Yes and I am all woman.
Gary Mac: You are supposed to be a man; you are Dick Roman after all.
Dirk Roman: Yes but in reality I am a woman.
Ace: That is almost sick, why pretend to be a man when you aren't?
Dirk Roman: To get closer to Ataxia.
Gary Mac: So you are saying he is gay?
Dirk Roman: You said it not me.
Ace: You worked closely with Ataxia to give him his only tag win against us the last time, any information you would like to share with us tonight?
Dirk Roman: He doesn't call me anymore.
Gary Mac: Why not?
Dirk Roman: Every time I call him I get his answer machine and he just laughs down it, he knows it is me calling all the time I am the only one with his phone number.
Ace: Great story, but what are his weaknesses.
Dirk Roman: Soft core porn.
Gary Mac: Now we know his kryptonite, thanks now get off our fucking stage.
Dirk Roman: Don't speak to me like that I am deeply offended and will take this up with your producer.
Gary Mac: Ok, I'll tell him to come on stage right now, producer come on out.
The audience begin cheering as from behind all the camera's walks Johnny Legend, he smiles and we have now found out he is producing the show. He hates Dick Roman so walks over and slaps him across the face.
Johnny Legend: Off the show now, no one wants to know you, you left, quit, died, fired, anything just go away and bitch somewhere else.
"Fuck Off Dick." Echo's throughout the studio and finally Dick fucks off, we had to put it bluntly because that is a part of the world, you say things to get your point across. Now all three men high five in the middle of the stage.
Johnny Legend: Roll the next part of how I met ataxia's mother.
Ace: Nice name Johnny.
Johnny Legend: I adlibbed, I hope that was ok.
Gary Mac: Perfectly fine Legend.
How I met Ataxia's Mother
AKA: Back To The Conception
The show fades out and back to the nicely named how I met Ataxia's mother, you got to love Johnny Legend sometimes he can come up with gold sometimes he doesn't even care. Anyway back at the house belonging to Ataxia's parents Gary and Ace are now outside, still debating how they will know for sure if Ataxia's parents use the condom.
Gary Mac: This is important Ace, we need to find a way to figure this out, if she has sex right now with him unprotected the world will be worse off for the birth of Ataxia.
Ace: Look, there are some ladders we can place them against the side of the window and one of us can climb up and watch what is happening.
Gary Mac: Great idea Ace I will hold the ladders for you.
Ace: Wow, wow, wow, hold on Mac I'm not climbing up there.
Gary Mac: It was your idea wasn't it?
Ace: Yes but I was looking for you to do it.
Gary Mac: How about rock paper scissors?
Ace: Fine I guess that will do.
They stare each other down trying to figure out what the other one is going to pick, they count one, two, three and Ace has paper but Gary has rock, Ace wins.
Gary Mac: Two out of three?
Ace: You lost Gary, just be a man, I will grab the ladders.
Ace walks towards the wooden ladders and picks them up before bringing them back and placing them against the wall, Gary begins climbing and then there is a noise from behind them. They turn around to see another phone box there with Johnny Legend and Alexander Hayes stepping out from it.
Johnny Legend: What are you guys doing?
Gary Mac: Trying to make sure Ataxia's parents don't have sex without a condom.
Alexander Hayes: Good plan but won't that wipe him from history?
Gary Mac: Yes and then Legend would still have the National title and none of us would have lost to him.
That is a real interesting theory, trying to wipe out all known existence of Ataxia just to benefit themselves, it is a great idea and if we all did that we could make it so no one was ever alive who we hated. Good fun but now Gary has to watch through the window and since I can't go into graphic detail of people having sex, I will say they are having sex and that is about as far as I am willing to go, Mac is looking through the window at what is happening.
Gary Mac: Shit, they have already started I now don't know if they are using the condom.
Johnny Legend: Go in for a closer look.
Gary Mac: What the fuck are you talking about?
Johnny Legend: Open the window crawl along the floor and see if he is wearing it, easiest way to do it.
Gary Mac: That is a bit extreme.
Johnny Legend: Says the guy who travels back in time to try and make someone irrelevant, yeah I am extreme.
Ace: Johnny has a point Gary.
Gary Mac: Right I'll fucking creep in and make sure everything is safe.
Slowly the Specimen of Perfection opens the window and creeps inside; Legend begins whistling for a second.
Johnny Legend: You know if we disappeared with the phone box's Gary would be stuck here in the past.
Alexander Hayes: That would be funny.
Ace: Then who would team with me?
Alexander Hayes: Great point; I mean Johnny is retired again.
Johnny Legend: Hey I just want to catch up with Lionel Kingston and Nirvana in their retirement counts.
The sound of crashing can be heard and then Mac leaps out the window landing on the grass back first, all three other members laugh a little but panic as they begin to hear shouting.
Johnny Legend: What the hell happened?
Gary Mac: I got too close, quick in the phone box's I know another way to deal with this.
As Gary and Ace run into one of the phone box's Legend and Hayes go in the other. They travel to another time and destination, it is nine months later and they arrive outside a hospital, first the phone box containing Mac and Ace arrive followed by Legend and Hayes, they exit and look at Gary who has a smile on his face.
Johnny Legend: You plan on killing baby Ataxia, have you turned into Nirvana?
Gary Mac: No, no, no Johnny, I have other ideas.
Ace: He told me what he has planned but I didn't listen I was still laughing at the fact he got his head to close to.
Gary Mac: Enough Luke, let us get moving, we need disguises.
All four men walk into the hospital and they notice a staff rom, Gary holds his hand up for them to wait and he rushes in grabs some doctor's coats and then comes back and hands them to Legend, Ace and Hayes.
Johnny Legend: No what, if we pretend to be doctors for a while here, I call being a gynaecologist.
Alexander Hayes: I saw that coming.
Johnny Legend: Hopefully I'll see a few of them coming too.
Ace: You guys are disgusting.
They begin heading towards the baby unit of the hospital as they reach it they begin looking for the incubators, finally Ace finds the room and they all enter. All new born babies are placed in this room where they get tagged with their names, Gary pulls out a pair of scissors and begins looking around.
Johnny Legend: I swear you stab one of those kids Mac and I'm out of here; I'll never trust you again.
Gary Mac: Trust me Johnny; this is all part of the plan.
Finally Mac finds baby Ataxia and picks him up.
Gary Mac: Know how everyone usually says babies look cute when they are born?
Ace: I guess so.
Gary Mac: This little fuck looks like the guy from the Goonies.
All three let out a chuckle and then Mac snips of his little ankle bracelet and then looks at other children and swaps baby Ataxia with another one and changes the bracelets he extends the scissors to Ace.
Gary Mac: Your turns just keep switching the babies and Ataxia might never ever be the person he turns out to be.
Ace: I guess so.
Now Ace switches baby Ataxia with another one, this time it is a girl and not a boy but he doesn't care, he places the Ataxia name tag on the baby girl.
Johnny Legend: I think we better go; those security guys are giving us funny looks.
They begin leaving the room and head towards the front door, when they leave they take off the doctors coats and look at each other.
Johnny Legend: You do realise Ataxia's parents will realise he is now a girl right?
Gary Mac: Who cares, they are a bit retarded they might actually just bring her up like a boy.
Alexander Hayes: That would explain the bag and how much of an idiot he or she is.
Ace: Also it gives a fitting end and a dun, dun, dun moment.
Gary Mac: It sure does, now back to the studio.
Back In The Studio
Final Thoughts . . . Maybe
Before we continue I need to put up a disclosure so Divine Intervention do not get sued, bitched at or complained about behind our back. What you have just seen is entirely historically correct. All of it was true and you should now question your sexuality if you believe you have developed sexual feelings to Ataxia. Again I must reinforce that this actually happened and no Ataxia's where harmed in the production of this part of the promo, now we go back to the studio and Gary Mac and Ace are sitting on their chairs waiting to give their final speech. We call this Gary Mac and Ace's final thoughts . . . yes we can be as original as Ataxia, which is part of our plan.
Gary Mac: Tonight was the debut episode of the Divine intervention hour; we hope we have made you laugh.
Ace: Made you cry.
Gary Mac: Pull your hair out.
Ace: Gary hopes he offended someone.
Gary Mac: Ace wants to leave and join the Somali pirates.
Ace: Speaking of that I never got my treasure.
Gary Mac: What we just produced was gold itself Luke, how can you complain?
Ace: I don't know, but we should continue.
Gary Mac: Now not everyone wins or loses in this business, unless you are Ataxia, but either way sometimes you need to take defeat and move on like a man. Bitching crying and moaning to a person who has Bi-Polar who then tells me you are bitching and moaning to try and get Miranda into a fight. Will never show you in a good light, tonight we went beyond what we usually do, all just to entertain and annoy people. No doubt people won't see it as that but none the less everything you have just view is a hands on original promo that wasn't done entirely off the back of our opponents.
Ace: Everyone could take something from this tonight, see we ooze class and go out of our way to promo early and do what we can, even when we know there is a huge possibility we will get screwed. Hey we were right last time; this time will be no different.
Gary Mac: No it won't but we will not run off complain and bad mouth everyone at the drop of a hat, we leave that to Jeffery and his band of pussies. We might have directly and intended to offend Ataxia with this promo, but that fucker offends me because he is moronic, stupid, a tramp.
Ace: Seriously Gary, you want to call him a tramp?
Gary Mac: I'm trying to stay within the rules, hey Legend can I say fucking retarded, cock sucking parasite that only gets by with the use of sexual favours?
Johnny Legend: Say what you want, I don't work for SFT anymore.
Gary Mac: That is good enough for me, anyway Ataxia one day hopefully soon you are going to die and when you do and you go down the corridor of regret or whatever the fuck it is. That part where you pay for your sins and so forth, you will come face to face with everyone you have fucked over in the past six months. But you won't see me there because you pay for it on Titans.
Ace: Wait we have Kiba Bunson to worry about to, I don't think we mentioned him one bit.
Gary Mac: Well thankfully we were prepared.
Ace: True, roll the footage.
Kiba Bunson Promo?
Again we cut away from our hero's this is now the Kiba parody and as always with a Kiba promo you need a good warning to begin with, so here it is. I have been busy all week and I do not know how to promo and decided I would throw something together to make me look awesome. So now let us promo, and just to be on the safe side Kiba is now played by Gary Mac and is known as Keba and Markus is played by Ace and is known as Marcus, see little touches make the world of difference.
"Open Door"
"Close Door"
"Open Door"
"Close Door"
Who is actually saying these things? Seriously some help would be appreciated here, now this is where I describe a scene and who would have guessed Keba and Marcus are in the gym. Yeah because Keba needs to work on his talent. "Where did you go?" Asks Marcus as Keba just disappeared.
"Over here" replied Keba who smiled, remember Keba can disappear and come back all the time, he doesn't need to be known as a human. He is like the Invisible man that queen sang about; in fact I bet Keba inspired that song. Anyway the point of them opening and closing doors is simple, with all his superior fighting ability that he claims to have, Keba needs a new venture when he leaves wrestling and he is in training for that job.
"Do you think I will make a good doorman at clubs Marcus?" He asks, and then disappears before appearing behind Marcus.
"Can you stop doing that?" Retorted Marcus or Marcus retorted either way works fine.
"I can open doors" Replied Keba, "Remember me doing it just there I was amazing at that, really amazing did you see it?"
"You also didn't do it properly." Swinging his foot Marcus kicks the door and it turns into sawdust, pretty amazing so just to ask a question why isn't Marcus wrestling, fighting or being in the spotlight? "You also missed a lot of people you weren't opening and closing the door fast enough."
FADE
The Final, Final Thoughts
And that ladies and gentlemen, boys and girls is a very Kiba promo, I think you could say this promo has it all yet only so many of you will get it. Comedy doesn't help you in SFT, well sometimes it does sometimes it doesn't depends what you want to do. And with that said I guess this raps up my part as the narrator for this evening, I would say it has been a pleasure but it hasn't. Wait I hear Gary Mac doesn't want to speak, he said screw the system, so that ends the Divine Intervention Show.
|
